Saturday, December 11, 2010

Life with Linda...it's always entertaining!

Sitting here having a coffee and thought I'd throw in a little bit of life before I get back to the card groove on Monday. So, if you are ONLY here for a card....exit NOW...but you may be a bit entertained if you read on!

I am TOTALLY FREAKED OUT BY CENTIPEDES...i know there is an official word for it but I am too freaked to google it for fear I might see a pic of one! Ya, I am that FREAKED by the sight of them! I think it might be the number of legs they have...anything with more than 4 is CREEPY, and more than 8...well, you'll see!

Okay...so this is how my day started out Thursday. It is just me and the pooch cause boys are away at school and hubby was out of town,. I get up, shower, make a coffee, and sit on the sofa with the pooch and my laptop. Coffee gets cold so I go put in in the microwave and retreat to the couch. Microwave beeps and I head to the kitchen and my eyes BUG OUT OF MY HEAD BECAUSE THERE IS A FREAKING CENTIPEDE SITTING ON THE FLOOR IN FRONT OF THE MICROWAVE!!!!!!!!!!

OMG! In all my 51 years this is the FIRST time I have come face to face with a pede and nobody around to save me....(the dog is useless in these matters)...At this moment I am determined to kill it, my FIRST KILL (just like Dexter)...the mega-legged beast is not moving so I run a short few feet to the living room and grab a stack of magazines, like maybe 20! Then I take a deep breath and realize I CANNOT throw a stack of 20 magazines accurately so I reduce the stack to 4 making sure the one on the bottom was one I did not want to keep, and the two in the middle had lots of weight...I think they were old SU catalogs. Yes, there was a lot of planning that took place in a few short moments! I let out a huge blood curdling cry and threw the stack on the beast! Then I stand there, hands shaking, knees wobbling, entire body frozen while I watch the stack of magazines hoping the beast did not escape it's fate! You see, I didn't have a backup plan!

After what seemed like an hour but was probably only a minute or two I am convinced the beast is dead so I snap a pic of the 'scene of the crime' wth my iPhone and post it on facebook. Thankfully a work buddy just happened to be there at the time and knowing my fears calmed me down a bit (in between a few chuckles I'm sure)! I told him that if I wasn't at work by 8:30 he should call paramedics! The situation was serious!
 
My first kill....just call me Dexter.

(oh, by the way, Alex came home from school for a few days and the stack of magazines remained there until he got home that evening and could clean it up...there were a lot of rules around that ordeal too but I won't get into it now!)

9 comments:

Gloria J. Dawson said...

Linda I know just how you feel! I freak out with spiders.....get cold sweats and panic attacks....can't breath, it's just awful!

Gloria

dolcreations said...

Linda...I laughed so hard when I read your story that there where tears coming down my cheeks!I could just visualize your story! I hate those creatures too! I would have probaly done the same thing! Oh thank-you for making my morning with your story!

Cindy H. said...

Oh, Linda, I feel your pain! My dh laughed when I told him how I handle spiders when he is not around. I spray and spray with a bug spray until there is a little mountain of foam on top of the spider (or any crawling bug for that matter). Then I after a while and no movement I run and get a vacuum to clean up the mess. I hate spiders - yewww!!!

Leendert said...

Man, you girls are wimps. My girls freak out because of spiders. Day or night, 24/7, blood curdling screams can be heard around our house.

Man, I feel sorry for Mark and the boys.

Notes by Nina said...

That was better then a card. I feel for you, snakes are my downfall. Good kill, be proud.

Amanda R said...

Oh Linda I know exactly how you feel! I can't stand spiders so if I see one I put a glass over top of it til my husband comes home. Before he realized this was my sadistic nature he once pulled up the glass and the spider ran. Scared the bejebees out of him! So now he knows better and just gets prepared to kill it!

paulatracy said...

thank goodness the only pede's at my house are outside under the rocks. you are safe here in my abode! hehe

CraftyViolet said...

Too funny - from this end! I hate spiders. When I was about 14 my father came out to the front steps to find me standing there like a statue with only my hand pointing to my pant leg and me uttering "Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah" over and over. He looked down and brushed the "tinest spider he ever saw" (according to him, to me it was huge) off my pant leg. Once I started to breathe again he just shook his head and walked away.

Ida said...

Oh my goodness this was just the most fun thing I've read in ages. Not that I'm laughing at you (well maybe I am) but mainly because my daughter is also afraid of those same creatures. Perhaps not to the same extent as you. I once read a story (Sci-Fi) that had this portion about a gigantic centipede and freaked her out just reading it to her. Hope you never encounter such a thing again.

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